Post No-Race Blues

Yesterday was a major race day, not only here in DFW with the Cowtown, but the Disney Princess Half was yesterday as well as many other races like the New Orleans Rock 'n' Roll. My Facebook newsfeed has been full of expo pics, meet ups, pre-during, and after race pics since Friday, and my heart breaks. I should be racing again. I know the face that I am currently not racing is my decision, but that pang is still there as I see a majority of the people I know racing and loving it.

I haven't talked much about it, but as you can tell from my almost regular weekly posts, I'm only running an average of 10 miles per week. I decided I would use the winter to focus on strengthening in order to run better. My knee is doing better all the time, but I still have the fear of pushing it too far.

I've been using the new Combat program from Beachbody since January 2 to get overall body strength. My arms, back, and core are getting a major difference, but my hips are getting stronger too, which makes a huge difference in my running and the pressure on my knee. I'm glad it's working. The 60 day program ends next week, so we'll see how amping up my runs go in a a couple of weeks.

Have you ever taken some time off running to build strength or specific conditioning? What did you decided to do, and how did you handle the "racer's jealousy"?

Why I Write About Running

Today is one of those days where I normally would hide in my bubble, barely post on my social media or let alone, blog. I started off with one of those mornings where I realized the necessity of me staying home instead of trudging to work and having a full list (or lists, in this case) of items to take care of are truly more important than my paper-pushing job.

When I get in these moods, I spiral fast. Usually it means it's time to run (most likely speed work) or do an intense strength workout or a bikram yoga session is in order. An intense workout can counteract my feelings of collective stress. Stress about budgets, time management, relocating, my injury and lack of working out, my lack of excelling, my inflated expectations of myself. The more intense workout means the more I can let go. Just let go of it all.

I admit letting go is difficult for me, even with a [bad.ass] workout. Even admitting that I am not always the strong [bad.ass] that several people may see me as is horribly difficult. Yet, it gives me a chance to show how I funnel my emotions into fuel for physical intensity. I get the chance to show how physical activity is not only good for the body, but for the mind and the soul. I get the chance to show how pushing through a run full of hills and crappy roads and 68%+ humidity cleans the slate and shifts perspectives. This is why I write about my running adventures.

Confession: Too Timid to Train

When it comes to sports and training, I generally have a bold and undaunted approach. A "get it done" outlook; no holds barred and balls to the wall. Yes, I have nerves all the time before games, races, and big runs. Yet, normally nothing holds me back.

Since my race two weeks ago, I turned shy to training. I think I've ran twice and had one soccer game. I am truly terrified of reinjuring my ankle and foot, which in turn terrifies me of making my mileage in training and on my upcoming race. I have a brace, a splint, I tape my toes, and I pay extra TLC, but I really do not want to screw my ankle up.

I know it's all about listening to my body and knowing when to ease up or stop, but I also know if I cannot admit to you that I am more than a bit gun-shy right now, I won't be able to admit it to myself. So, send some courage this way as I return to my training plan with extra ankle strengthening and praying to God I do not put myself on crutches.

And thank for letting me whine like a little scaredy-cat.